


I’ll Be Right Behind You

by SabineElectricHeart (TheLifeAndLiesOfFerns)



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: Angst, F/M, Murder, Revenge, Suicide, Supernatural Elements, Tragedy, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24396604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLifeAndLiesOfFerns/pseuds/SabineElectricHeart
Summary: After Souji accidentally kills Chizuru, he needs to take care of some unfinished business before he can follow her.
Relationships: Okita Souji/Yukimura Chizuru
Kudos: 21





	I’ll Be Right Behind You

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into English available: [Je Serai Juste Derrière Toi](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29662218) by [SabineElectricHeart (TheLifeAndLiesOfFerns)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLifeAndLiesOfFerns/pseuds/SabineElectricHeart)



“Chizuru...?”

The red haze I was hypnotized under started to faze. I remembered hearing her voice, but I could not understand the words. I was just so thirsty, in so much pain, I thought about nothing else.

That was when I looked at the red stain on her kimono. My eyes widen, she was hurt. I looked around and Kodo and Kaoru were shocked, their eyes did not blink, and all other furies laid dead around me.

Dread rose in my heart. I looked at the sword, the very one Kondou gave me, stained red, and then I understood.

“Chizuru! Hang in there! I… What did I do?!” I cried, in despair.

I knew there was no hope, I hit her in the liver, and no doctor and no demon heritage would change her fate.

A fate I would be happy in share, as soon as I finished what I was set to do, and I needed to let her know. There was nothing else I could do, nothing I could do to repent, other than trying to ease her passage.

“Don’t worry…” My voice fails with a hiccup. Damn. “I won’t let you die alone. I’ll be right behind you. Just wait a second for me, would ya? Chizuru…”

Her last breath leaves her lungs, and with it, my grasp on sanity also slipped. Yet, my conscience held on strong. I wanted to bear witness for my acts, I want them to have meaning, for them to mark my soul for the other life.

I want to be able to tell Chizuru, if I ever am able to meet her again, that I finished her mission. I stopped her family from making razed land out of our country.

It was easy, really. Kaoru was hardly an accomplished swordsman, and I disposed of him quickly. I ripped his right arm first, which brought him to his knees, shouting in pain. As the demon kneeled, I beheaded it in a single swing.

Then, I turned to Kodo. He kneeled over the body of his adopted child.

“If I knew this was the price, I would never have touched the Water of Life.” He said. “There is no Demon clan, no country that is worth my daughter.”

“If you’re trying to make me feel sorry for you, you won’t be getting it.” I said, doubting his sincerity.

It was too easy now to regret everything he had done, but the matter of fact is that Kodo abandoned Chizuru alone for six months in Edo, and for four years with the Shinsegumi, not to mention his work developing the Water of Life and aligning himself with Kaoru, who very cleared wished to see his so-called daughter suffering, or at least dead.

“I know what is the penitence for my crimes, Okita.” The medic said, turning to face me. “I only ask for you to bury Chizuru with dignity. There is a cemetery just around that torched house, it is where I have buried her parents.”

It was not as if I did not intend to bury her, but it was good to know she could be with her family.

“Furthermore,” He continued. “There is a spring in the forest, not too far from here. It has healing properties. A drink should banish the Water of Life from your system.”

“I see.” I said, impatient with the monologue.

He dropped his head and exposed the back of his neck. “Do what you must.”

“Gladly.”

I dropped my sword on it, and his life was over.

Leaving his body alone, I picked up Chizuru, her sword and Kaoru’s sword and walked over to the cemetery. I wanted to bury her and the weapons together, being the only family heirloom she ever had.

Kodo was right, and she should have company in her resting place, but I did not know the names of her parents. So, I could not bury her next to them, and I did not want to risk it choosing a spot randomly. Looking thoughtfully at the plot, I chose a spot near a sakura tree. I hoped she could witness every bloom.

I finished the burial at dawn. The sun hurt my eyes, but it did not matter. At the top of her grave, I left the sword Kondou gave me. I hoped it would protect her when I could not.

“I wished to give you all my life. I am sorry these months are just what I managed to give.”

Tears slipped from my eyes. I did not want to be here any longer; I was dallying needlessly.

“I will be right with you, Chizuru. Wait just a little longer, I’ll be right there.”

With that, I left the cemetery and walked to the spring. Just as Kodo had said, it was very close to the village ruins. The Yukimura demons must have guarded it for generations.

It would have been nice to live here, isolated with her.

I kneeled in front of the spring and, using my calloused hands, took a long drink of the crystal-clear water. It was cold and very refreshing, what I would imagine purity would taste like.

The water cooled my throat, as it went down my trachea. Immediately, the pain I felt from the sunlight subsided. My diseased lungs, however, felt exactly the same, proving the Water of Life did nothing to cure my tuberculosis.

It did not matter anyways. I just did not want to die as a Fury, as something akin to an animal, a crime against nature. I felt it diminished my chances of being blessed in the next life, and I felt I committed enough sins to expect much grace from the gods.

Rising to my feet, I continued my path, now away from the village ruins, back down the mountain, through where I came before. I walked slowly, as I could not count on my superhuman strength to stave off my illness.

I was determined, though, and I am sure I would have the spirit to be able to reach my destination.

A few hours of slow walking down the hill, I finally reached it. The small clearing in the woods in which I first and last kissed Chizuru. I wanted to die here, in this place. It held meaning to me.

Alas, it was not my time yet.

For a few more hours, I sat down there and heard the noises of nature all around me. I recalled my life, from the death of my parents, my miserable childhood with my sister and her husband, training under Kondou and my military career with the Shinsegumi.

I was thankful for it all. I had been profoundly unhappy for most of my life, but it did not matter. I was also able to train under a person I respected, fight for something I believed in, and pay my respects to a person I loved. No matter how much grief I lived, no matter how short my time had been, no matter my sins, I am glad I went through it all.

As the moon was up again in the sky, with the stars shining down on me, it was finally time. I was ready.

I drew my sword and drove it into my gut.

Then, I threw my weight backwards. My last sight was the beautiful evening sky, just as it was the night before. Chizuru would like it.

I just want to be with her. Please, let me be with her. Allow me to repent, allow me to reform. Allow me to be worth it, please. I just want to be with her.

Then, there was nothing.


End file.
